A ShiftSuit Zoo: The Pitch (Sketchy Shortie)

Eric Barber took a deep breath to steady himself, collecting his thoughts. This was it, the big day. After eight months, he finally had the chance to make his dream a reality. He was going to open the world’s first transformative zoo.

ShiftSuits had made it all possible, a company which made costumes that could transform someone into the outfit’s shape, some science mumbo-jumbo that he didn’t quite understand. What he did understand, however, was that these costumes were perfectly in line with a dream he’d once had, where he owned a zoo populated with people instead of animals.

Eric smiled and stepped out past the curtain that divided him from his audience, grinning at them. “Hey everyone, who’s ready to make history?”

To his delight, there was a large crowd of people standing before him. It had to be at least twice as many people as had replied to the Friendbook RSVP, which was possibly a historical first. He grinned wider as they cheered, clapping happily.

He smirked; then gestured down to the tiger onesie what he had on. “You all know about Shiftsuits, right? Well, what if we had a whole park where the animals were really people? I’m talking about a fun viewing experience that’s one-of-a-kind, and completely safe.”

A woman in the back raised her hand. “Hi! Shirley Cooper, with the evening news. How can you guarantee that people will be safe? Do you have some sort of countermeasure in case a nutjob decides he wants to go on a mauling spree?”

Eric nodded with a grin. “Excellent question! All of our exhibits are surrounded by a reversal field; the same type of technology that protects the White House from any unwanted animal visitors. If anyone tries to get out of the exhibit they’ll be changed back to their human form.

“We’ll also have petting zoos with some of nature’s most exotic animals, all of which will be monitored by rangers equipped with police-issue Reversal-Rays. One shot from any of those ends the transformation on the spot, ensuring that visitors will be free from harm.” Eric grinned, his brow furrowing as she raised her hand again.

“Sorry to monopolize you. How can you guarantee that nobody will slip into animal instincts?” Shirley jotted down a few notes expectantly as Eric searched for an answer.

“It’s just… I mean…” Eric fumbled, trying to work out how to best word it. Finally, he gave up and picked up his mask from beside him. “It’s easier if I show you. Don’t worry, all of the zookeepers around here have Reversal Rays.”

With that, he slipped the mask on his head, clicking a button on the collar. As he did, he lowered himself to all fours to spare himself the indignity of a fall—and he was right to do so. His hips and shoulders cracked loudly, his whole back popping as it stretched into a much sleeker; much more elegant shape.

Eric grinned as his head expanded to fill the larger muzzle of his costume; his ears growing to the top of his head. The fabric of the costume blended with his skin, its fibers lengthening to a long and lush coat of fur; and his mask bonded to his face, giving him a tiger’s head.

He flexed his jaw with a small grunt orienting himself with the new body. He’d changed into a tiger before, of course, but it always took a second to get used to a new body. On the bright side, his familiarity with the form would ensure that he was as agile as tigers could be.

He displayed this by leaping from the stage, letting a low rumble emerge from his throat. Naturally, the crowd responded with claps—though there were a few screams mingled in with the applause. Eric beamed and flicked his trail from side to side, padding up to a young girl in the front that didn’t seem afraid.

He smacked his jowls idly, then laid his head on his paws in front of her, letting her walk up to him and pet him eagerly. “Kitty!” She exclaimed happily, burying her face in his plush fur.

Eric grinned; then spoke to the crowd. “Now, as you can see, I’m perrrfectly safe to be arrround. Don’t worrrrrry, we’ll always make surrre to only speak when spoken to in the exhibits.” He added a moment later, smirking smugly as some of the ShiftSuit-unaware gasped in surprise.

Erig grinned, standing and bounding to the podium. He arrived in just seconds, his tiger’s body perfect for climbing. “That’s rrright, I can talk. And I can think, too. No animal instincts herrre, just a human in a tigerrr’s body.” He flicked his tail happily, waiting for what the crowd would say.

He didn’t mention it to anyone, but he could actually smell their enthusiasm, picking up that none of them felt afraid anymore. “And any one of you can trrry this out; have a stay in ourrr one-of-a-kind zoo. It’s a vacation like no otherrr, and you can ensurrre that yourrr family always gets good photos!”

Of course, then Shirley the ever-curious reporter had to lift her palm. “And how do you plan to transform back to a human, Mister Barber? How will any of us change back once we’re animals?”

Eric rolled his folden eyes.“You can trrransform back simply by leaving your enclosurrre, heading to a ShiftSuit ‘Perrrson Pad’, or by waiting for the timerrr on yourrr trrransformation to wearrr off.” Eric grinned. Then his ear twitched, and he realized that he could show Shirley up by showing her how good his zookeepers were.

Eric huffed quietly and looked back to the crowd. “But that’s boring! Instead, I think I should show you what happens when you get hit with a Rrreversal Rrray!” He spoke with a soft smile on his muzzle, flicking his tongue along his lips. Then he looked to the zookeeper to his right, absently chiding himself for forgetting the woman’s name. “Wheneverrr you’rrre rrready!” He beamed.

The woman smiled back and unholstered her Reversal Ray quickly, pointing it and clicking the trigger.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then Eric’s world spun, and he blinked repeatedly to find that he was on his elbows and knees, a human in a very embarrassing pose. The crowd cheered enthusiastically as he blushed, standing up to wave at them.

“Now… Does anyone want to try for themselves?” Eric pulled off the tiger mask with a nervous smile. His heart pounded as the crows remained still, no one speaking up.

Then, to his surprise, Shirley cleared her throat and raised her hand. For this first time that day, her gesture set a wonderful ray of hope into his heart. “Do you have any in crocodile?”

Eric beamed and nodded. “Why yes, I think we do.”